Drunk Mishap
by thekeeperofwords
Summary: At a party Jon, Alanna, Gary, Raoul, and Alex all get drunk. The consequences are disasterous. Not only do they get lost, but when an emergency strikes, none of them are sober enough to handle it.
1. Drink up

Duke Gareth stood and raised his glass. Instantly the room of nobles quieted. He smiled wryly and cleared his throat.

"Good evening, everyone. Right off I'd like to make a toast to my sister and brother-in-law, congratulating them on their 25th year anniversary." The King and Queen nodded graciously as the nobles in attendance clapped politely. Duke Gareth waited for the noise to subside before he spoke again. "Also, to my son and his year-mates, including Prince Jonathan, Raoul of Goldenlake, and Alex of Tirragen for completing their knight's training and achieving their shields. Looking around, I realize how much I have to be thankful for, and how much Tortall means to me…to us all. May all the new knights be credits to that. Happy Midwinter."

The room irrupted into applause as he took his seat and sipped deeply from his cup of wine as everyone followed suit. At their own table, Jon, Raoul, Gary, Alex, and Alanna all grinned and drained their goblets. The musicians started playing and most couples got up to dance. The newly-made knights and the squire remained at their seats, talking about all manners of things. A servant walked by with a tray of wine. Jonathan beckoned him over.

"Five drinks, please," he ordered. Alanna blushed and looked down.

"Jon, I don't think I should--"

"Nonsense, Alan," Gary interrupted. "It's a night for celebration. Drink!" He thrust a glass towards her. Raoul, Jon, and Alex chorused agreement.

She drew a breath and hardened her resolve, then drained the cup. Her companions cheered and finished their glasses, as well.

By the time Jon called for their fifth glasses, Alanna was swaying in her seat. Alex noticed this and laughed, a little too loudly.

"Come on, Alan. Learn to--to drink," he bellowed as Gary plunked the drinks in front of everyone.

She glanced at the quiet Raoul. He was grinning as he downed the wine, oblivious to the social function going on around them.

"Raoul?" she called to him. He looked at her. "You…you okay?" The room spun and she gripped the table frantically.

Raoul laughed. "Never been better. I haven't drank this much in…Mithros… A while!"

Jon grinned along with Alex and Gary, They seemed to like the effects of being drunk. It made Alanna uncomfortable.

"Um…Jona--Jonythen…Jon…I think I'll go to bed now," she muttered.  
"Aw, c'mon Alan! Don't go t'bed yet 'cause we hafta party!" Gary was close to falling off his seat. Alanna was preparing herself to attempt to find her rooms when Duke Gareth made his way to their table. He stared at the four knights and the squire, all riotously drunk, through wide-eyes.

"Get to your rooms," he demanded tersely. They all bit their lips nervously and hurried to obey, almost falling over in their attempt to reach the doors. Unfortunately, considering the state they were in, they did NOT make it to their suites….

(a/n: dun dun DUUUN! Lol to be continued. I promise it wont be so weird and un-believable.)


	2. To the Dancing Dove

Jonathan, Alanna, Gary, Raoul, and Alex stumbled through the doors, clinging to each other for support. When they came to an intersection in the halls, the group stopped, unsure.

"My father said we should go to bed," mumbled Gary.  
Jon sniffed. "Well I'm the prince and I say we go to the Dancing Dove and get George!"

"Who's Gegrea?" Alex wanted to know.

"My sister!" Alanna wailed.

Raoul shook his head sadly and trotted down the hall that lead to the city. The rest of his drunk companions followed him. They made their way to the stables.

"My horse is way far away!" whined Alex. The others nodded in agreement.

"I say we take other people's horsies!" Alanna said excitedly. The smiled and wandered along the rows of stalls, selecting their substitutes.

Gary took his father's chestnut, Jonathan took Roald's, Raoul took Roger's steed, Alanna chose Myles's, and Alex decided on Lord Martin's viscous mount. As they rode out, Alex was tossed by his horse. His delirious friends took no notice of his absence. 

They made their way to the Dove's courtyard and ordered a servant to tend their horses. Staggering inside the noisy pub, they sought out George.

"Heya there Georgie. I brought friends…." Alanna boomed.

A look of concern swept over George's face and he sprung up, taking hold of Alanna with one hand and Jon with the other.

"What did you lads to tonight?" he accused, and led them up to his rooms.

(A/n: I know! Its short! But thanks to all my reviewers, and I am VERY VERY open to ideas!)


	3. emergency

George sat Gary, Jon, and Raoul down on stools. Alanna he pushed onto his bed, where she perched on its edge and peered at Jon.

"You don't look so good, my Prince," she advised.

He laughed hoarsely. "I never mada should'a drinken you 5 glasses!" He hiccupped and swayed. Raoul smiled ironically.

Smiling grimly, George put a steady hand on Jon's shoulder and nudged him. Jon took a breath and tried again.

"I never should have made you drink so much," he said slowly, grimacing with effort.

Alanna frowned for a moment, then broke out into a huge grin. "I don't mind a little bit, Jon." They smiled at each other. Gary coughed.

"I'm alla for goin' t' drink mores at the downstairs!" he declared. Raoul clapped him on the shoulder and stood. George leapt for the door.

"Now lads, normally I wouldn't object t' you bein' in this condition. I'm all for partyin', but I have bad news from Tusaine and--"

Raoul pushed him to the side. "Move over," he growled. George winced. Raoul, who was the strongest of the group, was normally very easygoing. He wasn't sure, however, what the big knight was like under the influence of spirits. Hastily he moved to the side.

"I'm advisin' you to sober up!" George called to Gary and Raoul as they descended the stairs. "There's trouble brewin'!" Gary brushed him off with a wave of his hand.

"Soooo…Georgio…What's this troubles you says?" Jon drawled. 

George turned red with rage. "Tusaine is armed for war! Don't you care! You too damned drunk to realize that you _need_ to be sober on this night! You're father, your uncle, and your cousin will be most displeased! Curse you, Jon. If I was a knight…Well they should be arming for war! You will all be needed!"

The Prince yawned and stretched. "Gods, George, yer too annoying."

The thief strode forward angrily and slapped Jon. Alanna jumped up, drawing Lightning as she did so.

"You dare touch my friend, Prince, and knight-master!" She cried, pressing Lightning's tip to George's throat before he could react. Frantically he raised his hands in defeat.

"Alanna…you don't understand!" He stammered. "Tusaine is preparing to attack. All four of your have to go back to the palace!"

"Don't tell us what to do, thief," spat Alanna, shaking in drunken fury. After several moments she lowered her sword and the three stood in silence.

A quiet knock that was heard only by George sounded on the King of Thieves door. He licked his lips and glanced at his companions before opening it.

A buxom, brunette woman walked in, smirking.

" 'Lo, George," she purred. "Who're those brawny, handsome lads downstairs. Right riotous drunk, they are."

"Ladonna," George nodded to her in acknowledgement. "Those boys are my friends. These two here are their companions. May I present Johnny and Alan."

Alanna and Jon chuckled and elbowed each other.

"Maybe they should go," suggested Ladonna hesitantly.

George looked from Ladonna to Alanna and finally nodded.

"Time to go, lads." He ushered Alanna and Jon out the door. Alanna frowned, finally realizing Ladonna's purpose there. As they were leaving, George thrust a piece of paper into Jon's fist and whispered into his ear, "Get back to the palace, now!" He shut the door.

In the common room Jon and Alanna found their large friends, and ordered a mug of ale before they left. Finally all four of them tottered into the stable yard to fetch their horses.

************

King Roald, Duke Roger, and Duke Gareth paced the throne room, undecided and livid with rage.

"Tell me once more what happened," Roald demanded of Gareth calmly. The Duke took a breath and tugged on his lip.

"They had been drinking far too much…Even Alan of Trebond. As soon as I saw them, I immediately reprimanded them and sent them to their rooms. But somehow they never made it. They--"

"We know they didn't make it there! We checked!" snapped Roger. "We checked and checked and checked! And now four of our fighters are gone when we need them."

"We can't march without them!" insisted Gareth.

They argued for ten more minutes before Jon, Gary, Raoul, and Alanna burst into the throne room.

"Hello Father. We was on the horses to the city."

Roald gripped the arm of his seat with a white knuckled fist. "Who is 'we'"

"Me, Alanna, Gary, Raoul, and Alex. Yes."

"Who's Alanna?" Roger said slyly.

"Alanna?" Jon repeated, clearly confused. "Who's Alanna?"

"It does not matter. Jonathan, I am very disappointed in you. You let me down greatly. You let our people down greatly. I thought more of you," Roald said in disgust and anguish.

"Now, Roald, let's be fair," Gareth argued. "The boys had a just cause for celebration."

"And now they are unfit for battle! I never thought they could become so horrendously drunk!"

"You've been worse. I've seen you--"

"Silence! Jonathan, how much of this do you understand?"

Jon straightened his shoulders. "Every teensy word, father."

"Good. Raoul, you'll be in charge of a group of knights. Jon, Gary, Alan, you will be at the northern reaches of the camp. Now…be gone. I need to think."

As the group raced to their rooms, Jon opened the crumpled piece of paper from George. It showed the Tusaine companies of foot soldiers and legions. It finally hit him; they were going to war.

(A/n: ok that's all I can spit out right now. I hope you don't think that the 4 are less drunk. They are still very drunk, its just hard to portray them that way. Yes…very drunk. HICCUP *blushes*. Them, not me. Nope)


End file.
